It is a struggle to explain what 'The Lifestyle' really means to people. One of the main things I have tried to stress is that it is not in any way similar to 50 Shades of Grey. That story is a fantasized, smutty view, which more closely emulates the life of an abusive kinkster, as opposed to a Lifestyler. It might be easy to suggest that the taboo world of BDSM (Bondage, discipline, Domination/submission, sadism & masochism) is all about kink. This is how most "Vanilla" people view it anyhow. However, it is much more complex then just saying it is a kinky fetish.